SI

Academic Programs

Choose from our comprehensive curriculum of failure. Each program is designed to help you embrace and document your skill issues.

Doctoral Duration: 4-6 Years

PhD in CSS Centering Studies

Our flagship program explores the existential challenge of centering elements. Students will study flexbox, grid, absolute positioning, and the ancient scroll of margin: 0 auto.

Core Courses

  • • CSS 101: Why Flexbox Doesn't Work (Until It Does)
  • • CSS 202: Grid Layout and the Art of Giving Up
  • • CSS 303: Vertical Centering: A Historical Perspective
  • • CSS 404: Display: None (Your Hopes)

Prerequisites

None. That's the problem.

Learning Outcomes

  • ✓ Still can't center a div
  • ✓ Can explain why
  • ✓ Imposter syndrome intensified
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Master's Duration: 2 Years

Master's in Git Conflict Resolution

Learn to create, embrace, and occasionally resolve merge conflicts. This program covers everything from force pushing to main to convincing your team it was the CI's fault.

Core Courses

  • • GIT 101: git push --force: A Love Story
  • • GIT 202: Merge Conflicts as Modern Art
  • • GIT 303: Rebase vs Merge: Starting Wars in Teams
  • • GIT 404: Recovering from git reset --hard

Prerequisites

Must have destroyed at least one repository.

Learning Outcomes

  • ✓ Can say 'merge conflict' with PTSD
  • ✓ Knows how to blame others via git blame
  • ✓ Force push certified
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Bachelor's Duration: 3-5 Years (or 2-4, we're not sure)

B.S. in Off-By-One Errors

Sometimes you're one too many. Sometimes one too few. This program will teach you to consistently be wrong in predictable ways.

Core Courses

  • • LOOP 101: for(i=0; i<=length; i++) and Other Tragedies
  • • LOOP 202: Fencepost Problems: A Philosophical Inquiry
  • • LOOP 303: Array Bounds: A Suggestion, Not a Rule
  • • LOOP 505: The Elegance of IndexOutOfBoundsException

Prerequisites

Ability to count... sort of.

Learning Outcomes

  • ✓ Arrays start at 1 (sometimes)
  • ✓ Expert in +-1 debugging
  • ✓ Comfortable with uncertainty
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Certificate Duration: 6 Months

Certificate in Stack Overflow Arts

Master the ancient ritual of copy, paste, and pray. This intensive program covers everything from finding the right answer to ignoring the accepted one for the second-highest voted.

Core Courses

  • • SO 101: Ctrl+C, Ctrl+V: A Spiritual Practice
  • • SO 201: Reading Error Messages (Into Stack Overflow)
  • • SO 301: The Art of Marking as Duplicate
  • • SO 401: Reputation Farming for Beginners

Prerequisites

Google search capability.

Learning Outcomes

  • ✓ Can find answers without reading questions
  • ✓ Expert at ignoring warnings
  • ✓ Copy-paste ninja
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Diploma Duration: 1 Year

Diploma in 'It Works On My Machine'

Why does it work locally but nowhere else? Docker was supposed to fix this. This program explores the mysteries of environment differences.

Core Courses

  • • ENV 101: .env Files and Trust Issues
  • • ENV 202: Docker: Containerizing Your Problems
  • • ENV 303: 'But It Worked in Dev' - A Case Study
  • • ENV 404: Production Debugging via Meditation

Prerequisites

At least one 'works on my machine' incident.

Learning Outcomes

  • ✓ Can blame environment
  • ✓ Docker certified (not really)
  • ✓ Skilled at reproducing issues that 'disappeared'
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Advanced Studies Duration: Ongoing (Forever)

Advanced Debugging Studies

console.log(), print statements, and staring at the screen. The holy trinity of debugging. This program never truly ends, just like your bugs.

Core Courses

  • • DEBUG 101: console.log('here') and Other Classics
  • • DEBUG 202: Rubber Duck Therapy
  • • DEBUG 303: It's Always DNS (Or CORS)
  • • DEBUG 404: The Bug That Fixes Itself (And Why)

Prerequisites

Patience. Lots of patience.

Learning Outcomes

  • ✓ Expert console.logger
  • ✓ Can stare at code for hours
  • ✓ Developed sixth sense for bugs (still can't fix them)
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Intensive Duration: 3 Days

AI Proompt Engineering

Master the art of failing to get AI image generators to visualize that specific feeling when you run DELETE FROM user CASCADE CONSTRAINTS and realize you never started a transaction.

Core Courses

  • • PROOMPT 101: Why 'Make It More Like The Thing' Doesn't Work
  • • PROOMPT 201: Describing Existential Database Dread to a Machine
  • • PROOMPT 301: The 47 Attempts Before Giving Up
  • • PROOMPT 401: Just Using a Stock Photo Instead
  • • PROOMPT 501: You've hit the Free plan limit for GPT

Prerequisites

Must have mass-deleted production data at least once.

Learning Outcomes

  • ✓ Can write a 500-word prompt that generates the wrong thing
  • ✓ Expert at saying 'close enough'
  • ✓ Developed hatred for the phrase 'I can't generate that'
Apply to This Program